Chapter Seven

THE FIRST SECTION:

The ride home was a silent one for Coleman and Emily despite Coleman’s attempts to engage his wife. Emily just ignored her husband and watched the evening mist turn to a slight rain. Once home, she headed straight for her changing room without saying a word to anyone. She hoped that Coleman would not follow her, and much to her surprise she heard him command a drink to be brought to the den. Late evening drinks alone were unusual for him, and she thought that this would provide an opportunity to take things slowly before retiring for the night.

In her room, Emily took her time changing into her night clothes. She asked her servant to unfurl her hair slowly and to run her fingers through it. The stress of her relationship with Coleman was draining her energy and for once she wanted to relax and be left alone.

FOR FULL TEXT CLICK READ MORE BELOW

“Do you get to watch the sunset with your children?” she asked the servant.

“Why yes madam,” she responded, “when I can I do. But not always. I just don’t have the time sometimes.”

Emily tried to remember what it was like to have her mother by her side, but it was impossible to picture what she looked like. Of course, she had an image that she had made up in her mind from her father’s descriptions and her own imagination. A strange thought made her shiver, what if I am making her to be more beautiful than she really was? The notion stayed with her for only a brief moment as she realized that her mother’s beauty only mattered in her mind. And what ever she imagined was all anyone needed to know as the truth.

But it still bothered her that she had not had a mother to guide her through the difficulties of being a wife, or even a woman for that matter. Everything she had ever learned was from either her father or from watching how other women behaved. It is funny, she thought, that I admire a sadistic woman such as Isabelle and such a wonderful person as Sarah is, yet I cannot bring myself to be an acceptable wife. Which traits mean the most?

“Do you catch the sunset with Mr. Montague madam?” the servant asked as she carefully removed the knots in Emily’s hair. It was then that it dawned on her, I am the way I am with Coleman because he is not a good enough man to deserve my dutiful attention.

With that point stuck confidently in her mind, she dismissed the servant and walked to the bedroom to go to sleep. As she neared the hallway that led to the room, she heard the slow slap of Coleman’s shoes climb the marble staircase behind her. Emily paused to listen if he was coming or going. When she realized that the steps were getting louder, she hurried to the room with the hopes that she could pretend to be asleep by the time he made it there to kiss her goodnight.

Emily flew the door open and threw her finger over her mouth, instructing the servant to be quiet. She then motioned with her hand to have the servant turn the lights out without making a sound. The servant did as she was told without saying a word and herself left the room in a hurry. With Emily snuggly under the covers, the door finally cracked open and a stream of light beamed across the room to the head of the bed.

I forgot to close the bed drapes! she thought to herself. That may be a mistake. I always close the drapes. He knows that I do not like to sleep without them shut.

Coleman quietly shut the door behind him and sat down on a chair across the bed. Emily could feel his eyes staring at the lump in the covers that her body made. It was only a matter of time before his sight adjusted to the darkness and he could see her body in the dim light from the windows. She pulled the covers above her head to hide her face from him, At least I can open my eyes if I need to.

The time passed by without him uttering a word. It seemed like hours to Emily, who had, by her own thoughts, not moved as a natural sleeper would in bed after such a long time. One thing for sure, though, she was convinced her heavy breathing was a good sign of sleep. Whether he could hear it from under the covers was another thing. She tried to listen to see if he was sleeping himself. While he had never done that before, it would not surprise her one bit if had passed out in the chair. After all, she thought, he had had a busy day today.

A headache overcame her from the lack of sleep and she came to the conclusion that this would be a good time to get some air. So she pulled the sheet back from her head and yawned as the fresh, cool air hit her face.

“So you are awake then my dear,” Coleman said from the chair.

Emily froze. You are an idiot, she swore at herself. Of course a yawn would mean that I am awake.

“Emily?” Coleman asked. “Are you awake?”

Emily knew that there was no way out of this scenario and so she forced a second yawn, “Why are you in my room Coleman? You have awaken me.”

“I have?” Coleman asked. “I am terribly sorry.”

That was easier than I thought, she thought. “Never mind. Please let me sleep.”

“I will,” Coleman said, and then he sat still.

A few moments passed when Emily sat up and stared at him, “What are you doing? I thought that I asked you let me sleep.”

“I can be perfectly quiet right here Emily,” he responded. “You have been asleep all this time that I have been here. You never knew until just now.”

“Oh Coleman,” Emily yawned, “but I do know now. And you are bothering me there. I can hear you breathe.”

“Would you prefer it if I stopped breathing then?” he asked politely.

“Believe me Coleman,” Emily said as she buried her head in her pillow, “I have prayed for that not less than a hundred times.”

Coleman did not respond and that left Emily wondering what it was that she had done to quiet him so quickly. And then she had her answer.

“Why do you loathe me so much,” Coleman asked.

“I don’t loathe you Coleman. I am just tired and want to sleep,” Emily contested.

“No,” he responded. He was speaking more forcefully now, “You do loathe me. I disgust you. You have no hope for me. You get no joy from me. I disappoint you.”

Emily remained still in her bed. This was not a conversation that she wanted to have; not at this moment nor ever. She heard what she thought was crying and sat up to try and see if it was her husband that was making the noise. When she realized that it was she tried to comfort him, “Coleman, of course I do not despise you. I never would have married you if I did. Now please stop sobbing and let me sleep. I have a busy day tomorrow and need my rest.”

“I don’t believe you for an instant,” he shot back.

Emily pleaded with to both stop his sobbing and to leave her alone but she was unsuccessful. Coleman continued to throw all of his emotions out at her at once. He begged her to show some compassion, to love him life other wives loved their husbands, to support him in his ventures and to stand proudly beside him as he moved through his life. But all Emily could think to do was to implore him to leave; that they could sort it out later on down the road, perhaps even first thing in the morning. But Coleman wanted proof right then and there that she loved him.

“What have you to do tomorrow?” he snapped. “You never have anything to do but cure your illnesses. The doctors come when you are sick and say that you are fine all the time.”

“Coleman,” Emily cried, “please stop.”

“These headaches of yours,” he continued, “are not something you can diagnose or even see the symptoms. They just flash into your brain at the most inconvenient moments.”

Coleman moved toward the bed and grasped Emily’s hand, “Tell me dear. Are you sick? Do you need further help?”

“No,” Emily said stunned at this assertion.

“Are you sure?” Coleman asked, “Because we can get you the best doctors. We can send you to France to the warm weather. You can be helped.”

“Coleman,” Emily insisted as she withdrew her hand, “I am fine. I do not need a doctor. Now please leave me alone.”

“Then what is there for tomorrow?” he asked. “What is keeping you from showing your love to me right now? Why must it wait until the sun rises? What have we to lose to by being spontaneous. Let’s have a child. Let’s start tonight, right now.”

Coleman then jumped into bed with Emily and began to lift her gown. Emily shrieked at his actions and tried to throw him off of her. But Coleman was too strong and determined. Despite her pleas for help, none of the servants came to her aide and Coleman thrust himself onto her body. Over and over he muffled her screams and pushed her down into the bed. His body jumped from back and forth with ease even thought Emily tried to kick and push him off. And the more she fought the more violent his pulses became, driving her deeper into shame. Until it was finally over with one final thrust. Emily felt Coleman’s body collapse on her. And when she felt his arms go limp from exhaustion, she pushed him to the side and ran down the hall to her changing room.

Once inside her servant came to her, “Madam, are you OK. I am so sorry, but I could not do anything. I was ordered to stay away.”

Emily did not respond but let her servant hug her anyway. She found it difficult to look in the mirror and eventually buried her head into the servant’s shoulder and cried. Off in the distance she could hear the slow tap of Coleman’s shoes walk past her room to his own. She held her breath until she heard the door close, and then she cried some more.